the mega entry version…

freeVerse Archives

JULY 23, 2009

this or that

left or right
prime or zoom
give or take
can’t relate
sleep or wake
choose or not
cold or hot
allegiance taught
or learned

JUNE 9, 2009

random slats

A collection of one-offs and dynamic tension. Or something.

Dodging bullets, a literal translation, manifestation
Going your own way, i couldn’t get it right
Seeking asylum in a litany of lies and
inconvenient truths
i can’t find my way home

inkling verboten, prejudice verkaufen
i’m in disgrace, show your face
lose the race, i’m faster
on the stratocaster, playing
fast and furious, aren’t you curious
about my leaning tower

squeezing through the slats
instead of butting heads
between the ocean and the sea
could it be
and ending, pretending
just pay the fee

you spit your grenades,
i’ll take .223
and send it down rage
don’t cross me now
i’ve got my 12 and 6 covered
and i’ve got a lover
who won’t drive me crazy
but i’m lazy, the kid’s spacey
go tell Lacy, that i need some more coffee

JANUARY 6, 2009

rediscovered

Going through my old blog, a little ditty that I wrote but didn’t flag as “free verse.” From 4jul06. Saved by digital…

All of the talk over the years
One thing setting up the other
When push comes to shove,
you have to pull the wires and disconnect the old pathways
But does the network change?
Ahh, I hear the sleighbells
Sorry, shuffleplay distraction
Hmm, good song title
Why am I typing this instead of writing that?
Good question
The resistance is strong in this one

Continue reading “rediscovered” »

DECEMBER 30, 2008

molecular duke

Still fascinated by reflections and haunted by a clinical past

Continue reading “molecular duke” »

DECEMBER 25, 2008

road home

holding the light for another day
chasing whims on a crooked path
it swells and drops a scary pose
homework done you lose the math
adding colors helps a slight return
laying out rules for drawing your bath

Continue reading “road home” »

DECEMBER 21, 2008

limited

precision metal and beveled fonts
spin the knurl and left lamont
hanging by a thin thread
the things he thought were said
stuck in his head
text couldn’t be read
he’s just sick about it

Continue reading “limited” »

OCTOBER 25, 2008

so why again

babe i left it sitting
all out to dry
on a pretty steep grade
and buried in the side
of a hill i can’t recall

i saw the strong ones
fall and crash and burn
burn to the ground
with an apple crate
and nothing else

i’m thinking about that
smell that surrounded
the garage one night
actually quite a few
the silent debacle
was there in front of
that damn hotel
and maestro x saw it all

don’t dwell
be proud
you made it
that’s what they say
they have no idea
no fucking idea
so please don’t open
that hole again

can you take the heart
out of the guitar
and base it on something
new and foreign
it’s running on empty
nein, danke, no mas por favor

i’d like to blame
the ambien
but i can’t
i’m here
i’m typing
and thinking
who’s sinking

NOVEMBER 18, 2008

coroner’s inquest

do you think i can float
i look good in this black coat

hanging around and just hanging on
video village goes silent
streaking the pink and the blue
and a goatee that comes and goes

just a question if you can float
dust off that long black coat
smoke hangs low for your test
closing the coroner’s inquest

when did that chance pass by
to make it all right
instead I sit and craft
random cuts of nonsense

do you think you will float
I look good in a black coat

helical twist

a brown stocking cap pulled down
a strong gray rain failing down
never enough time to bring a dream
gently to a safe harbor

i’m sensing a storm that has been brewing
from a slow drip to a steady stream
infused with a helical twist
i’m seeing both sides now

he’s certainly no stranger to pain
if only there was another place to put it
instead it seeps out in a broadcast
trying to stay clear of interference

i always wished i could realize
that indelible image that exists inside
and show him a graceful way
to move through this fractured life

expectations from a blackboard
falling down with a heady pace
in another time I’d climb that hill
and unlock that gold glass door

NOVEMBER 17, 2008

elevated musing

sitting in a blue flaky tube
wondering if the peels are talking
about something i should know about

a dirty mercenary sings
while Luke mugs on screen
listening to the conversation
canceling noise and meaning
i’m clear in my mind
steering my kindness

wishing for stinging obsession
naked and alive in my bed
a toe dipping into my head
needing a second pair of shades
pushing back the innocence lost

faults in all and seething still
that familiar ache wearing thin
unable to feel the skin
trying to hard to touch
the singing obsession
lit by candles

i’m keeping it to myself
Luke still struggles with two
a suburban dream
stigmata aside
my patience on needles and pins

spinning around to catch a glimpse
of that sad parade of players
serenading an empty table
the tenor stumbles
endless summer going down
fires burning hazy streaks
into a lazy sideways

my darling daydream
harmonics hanging like
notes sliding just below
perfect pitch
nobody cares

i don’t hear him any more
letting my battles slide
watching Luke try to touch
a blue wall
whatever, amen

keep on talking
hearing the party late
burning up midnight oil
sagging mattress swallows
a sitting duck
how many nights can
you go without sleep?

fumbling around and rolling over
and cover with the little blonde around the corner
swinging for the fences
but the director can’t save
the second act
an original sin

he’s taking pictures
i’m seeing my reflection
neither are pretty
stay away from the sauna
it’ll leave you less
that you started with

never outside this state of confusion
can’t remember who gets the bill
living five minutes at a time
means the clock does a lot of work

steering clear of the dusted neighbors
we brew our own concoctions
beautiful plumes
drawing back
making sure it’s red
before you push it down

a hazy couch is sweet relief
i’ve seen that iron pot before
a little water in the bottom
to keep from sticking

back to the obsession thing
no way to sustain
and why does misery connect
pop, smoke, stay down
i’ve been hit

a window seat
in an aisle world
the system of the doctor
a frequent flier hell
just what you need
to make you feel better

looking outside
trying to change the weather
increase the temperature
to a balmy 42
wind at my tail
see your pink disk
show down the slowdown

quick cuts trickle down fast
stabbing glass and gamma rays
burn a hole in the collective
fueling my sleeper cell

where do we go from here
where do i go from here
i don’t want to hear that song again
and long for the obsession
just because i said it
doesn’t make it right
getting up in the middle on the night
watching the round and round
for the fiftieth time

heading north like a fragrant bird
bouncing lively and stiffening
to another southern breeze
twang and then it’s gone
roll off the tele

saint theresa once sang about florida
or some such nonsense
i lost track of who’s on the corner
making money and full of trash
bold as the hollow lights
higher than the king
higher than jesus
makes you feel like it at least

nobody ever saw you the way i do
or maybe i just missed the signs
clouded by a sour act of contrition
and double crossed at the junction

OCTOBER 20, 2008

pearls before me

why yes, i’d love to see
the washington monument
but not get dropped on top
and slide on down
unable to stop

be careful to toss
your pearls before me
i’d love to have tea
but don’t think i’m up
for a trip under the sea

the view must be fabulous
you can see everything
the lookouts will sing
like the trees but be careful
the bees tend to sting

i waited to cross
the pearls before me
only wanted to be
a bit player rather than
the star that you see

looking back i fought the draft
and marched in the streets
i was feeling complete
but mother had other
ideas for me to meet

the day the music died wasn’t
nearly as sad as this dog
lost in a thick fog
wishing that truck didn’t
have so many apples
i wanted a pear
or maybe a peach

they all wasted
their pearls before me
enlightened and free
i cough and lightly sigh
before entering a plea

SEPTEMBER 16, 2008

stonking complex

Warbirds in flight, bringing the fight
down to the ground the dirty ground
make a hole, play a role, dirty ground
spinning on 5 axes, see the vm now

happy peach with the right chicken
counting off one-two one-three
but 4 is death, don’t say it loud
no reason to be proud propped up

that stonking complex is meta fast
but slowly losing grip on the last tip
that he got, then forgot, then walked
around a may pole hiding as an antenna

signal. he had no signal. I want a signal
I just need some help, time to yelp

AUGUST 3, 2008

the deep end

i’m feeling a little peaked
maybe it’s just the heat
i’m passing those defeated
at least it tastes like meat

i’m chewing up my fine time
dropping leaflets on the news
i’m reading all the fine print
and you’re covered if i lose

stay away from the deep end
i know you love it so
stay away from the deep end
i know yours likes to grow

i’m much bigger than the sea
but oceans apart from being
i’m smaller casting shadows
but still having trouble seeing

we’re combining things except
that stupid fold-out couch
we’re dividing things, respect
how my boxes seem to slouch

i’m seeing the deep end
as a last resort and refuge
i’m bleeding in the deep end
dry within the deluge

i’m out of the deep end
i shouldn’t have to defend
every third word
and maybe a fourth
bring me a fifth
tell me, chi le ma?

i laugh at the deep end
but feel left out
like the serious ones passed me
without even asking
going to save someone else
or themselves

a deepening scar doesn’t stretch
its tight but holds in place
the angle of omission
the memory and the pace

i’m plugging in my cables
my signal is now quite strong
i’m turning up my faders
‘gonna drown out his stupid song

rice recovered and now in the molds
i’ll use the potatoes and capture the role
of the white cotton and blue frog buttons
flying north might help to make it whole

i’m draining the deep end
so we can skate the curves cleanly
i’m draining the deep end
where the water’s best sent begging
i’m filling the shallow end
this is over

i’m stepping through your window
trying hard to avoid the pane
i’m looking for a clean t-shirt
’cause this one’s wet from the rain

i’m afraid of the deep end
i’m just too tired to swim
i’m afraid of the deep end
i can’t live up to him

oh, great, now he’s here
not like it couldn’t get much worse
he’s diving in. he’s the swan
the water knows he’s coming
they bead and sweat away
it’s time, the swan is coming

lead him towards the deep end
we’ll get him after dinner
violent redirection and repulsion
does wonders if you’re thinner

the swan thinks it is won, but those
are shallow end rules
in the deep end it changes
and all bets are off
except the one between me and you
i’ll double down there and give you odds

nothing sucks me in
now i’m routed out
integral lost in translation
the derivatives will shout

i’m rolling my eyes but can’t help it
like to stand up and make amends
i’m still going to ruin your time here
and stay clear of your deep ends

MAY 9, 2008

pinched quandry

pinched quandry for sailors
frozen peas or corn
for the cellulose
swelling down
abrupt

listen closely so you don’t miss
a single thing
carefully sighting the possible
the permissible
free reign providing you cover
all the costs

whistling hand grenades
past a willing few
east st. louis
toodle de doo
it’s jazz, dammit
swing it or else

shot in the foot
i can’t believe i
shot him in the foot
how could i?
breathe, settle, squeeze
don’t pull down on me
instead i need traction

FEBRUARY 4, 2008

sifting

dark clouds lifting, slowly sifting
through yesterday’s fog of war
battle-worn and breaking the chains
slipping away, letting go, finding more

self fulfilling just stop instilling
there isn’t always something wrong
rising tides will catch the morning light
unless you keep playing that damn song

DECEMBER 11, 2007

while seated

looks like pr is at it again…about time

while seated
please fasten hope
to my poor ailing legs
i’ll drag it as best i can
i’ll try to be the real man
just don’t make me beg
sliding down a slope
while seated
i can’t run fast
i barely know the way
thought there was a map
i tried to bridge that gap
ran out of things to say
know it can’t last
while seated
i’m not flying this
but i can see outside
hazy grid laid out looking
a drunken spider cooking
snacks for a long ride
into the abyss
while seated

DECEMBER 10, 2007

tyger

Bits of this have been flitting about my head for some time.

tyger burning bright
such a sight
quickly twitching feet
losing my seat
but maybe it’s time
to stand

time and distance
such resistance
to move along and see
what would be
if i just let things
play against the sky

sometimes swinging tides
lick the salt from the rim
a cadillac ranch and dance
dipping deep across the floor

tyger burning tight
made the flight
boarding pass in peril
lined up where all
kids break down
and cry

back to open arms
bet the farm
but venture slowly
beloved lowly
things to see
places to be

OCTOBER 12, 2007

three octobers

it’s not about me
or about you either
don’t look too deep
or read between
the lines in my face
they leave no trace
just feeling the space
around three octobers

tired of hearing jive
shucking empty oysters
or holding court
raise your left hand
and pledge undying
love without crying
the mirror isn’t lying
about three octobers

is this the one that
sticks and leaves no
stone unturned and
shines a light on all
the darkest corners
touching the mourners
joining beautiful foreigners
between three octobers

OCTOBER 11, 2007

so sweet

the missing link broken
her lies were so sweet
but what do you need
when your turn is beat
and the news has gone to seed

slide that socket over
strings so silky and jones
would sing into the night
cold feeling in my bones
dancing alone was such a sight

i seem to get what i need
despite my best intentions
no matter what i do or say
waves crashing surly inventions
dear, do you mind if i stay?

AUGUST 8, 2007

windows

window of opportunity
open or closed
ragged confusion
sometimes you miss it
leave a wake rebuffed
sad and lonely sorting
tripping the light
of the things unsaid
turnaround takes time
miss a beat
coming in late
wondering

JULY 28, 2007

climbing

climbing hills
standing still
or at least it
felt that way
butt kicked
treats no trick
called out but
stuck in there
lingered then left
no heart theft
patience

JULY 20, 2007

mercy wheels

no point in direction
it’s coming no matter what
say goodnight sweet prince
your fight was gallant
your methods flawed
your heart tragic
don’t be afraid to cry
before you know it will pass
everyone will remember you
until they drop the rose and walk past

mercy is trying to visit
but the barricades are strong
dreams made of heat in your heart
waiting for darkness to come
and steel quickly
wishing for arms to hold
passing it off as fancy
but desperate
for tenderness
and mercy

you had a good run
and thought that living was
running to keep up
and keep tabs

may grace be with you
because mercy is scarce
but i fear you’ll feel neither
you were taught to win
but never learned to fail
pick it up on the fly
or during the fall
find a way home

mercy dear mary
slaughtered before waking
closing doors and bolting ways
swinging remains reminding
of lives that spun out
pirouette and pratfall
packing boxes
cleaned out after you’re gone

living in seven time
but it’s an eightfold world
you tap your feet
but mercy doesn’t feel the beat
the end of the sky
shivering hues and streaks
you loved the texture
until you could really feel it
now it’s too much
mercy come
the mourners are singing
mercy save
your broken soul
mercy love
your analog pulse
before it is quiet

dragged by your feet
to do it again
until it’s really wrong
you’re on your knees
mercy wheels
turning again

breakdown

waiting for a breakdown
around the corner
clock watching
twisted dove
sweet relief
barely there

leg fidget
body widgets
falling down
tearing mildew
hope it cleans
inside out

curl up tight
the way out
many loose ends
can’t let down
won’t stay up
help from joe
waiting for a breakdown

jade heart

a jade heart cradled
in twisted mesh
green blades reaching
squared blocks seeking
meaning held by brass
it sits surrounded
but open to something new

a jade heart hidden
drilled steel tubing
purple flowers blooming
shine the light
shine all day
pull in the slack
but cast off the lines

a jade heart beating
a gaping hole shrinking
pain pushed to the back
seeking release and healing
touched by daring
pausing for the rhythm
to catch up

a jade heart joining
the rest of the strands
trailing from the frame
worlds tucked into foam
crawling towards a place
that is new and warm
away from pine and pain
the stains left behind

a jade heart moving
into the light
reflecting angles
the quantum view
new connections
leaving equations
unsolved
but tended

JULY 18, 2007

framed

framed by black squares
gentle touch, fiery eyes
pillows falling without
sound or fury but
prescient passion

smiling deeply
seeing through it
pass the past
make it last
beyond the moment

still uncertain
but feeling it edge
towards the one
who sees the beauty
and says so

JULY 17, 2007

timing

out of phase was
the first time out
the one that saved me
restored my faith
in love and touch

but no matter how sweet
searing gentle passion
physics is physics
waves can construct
or subtract
or just flatten
timing is everything

a battle of primal urges
vs. bad experiences
takes a toll over time
even if it comes full circle
the center has moved
and can’t reconnect
timing is everything

perspective is relative
picasso turned the corner
when one is on the down
and the other is in it thick
light can play tricks
dancing dark apart
timing is everything

JULY 15, 2007

what

what am i doing?
where am i going?
this isn’t a dress rehearsal
if we have to spend the semester figuring
then we won’t get much work done

a thousand words to say a hundred things
about ten feelings in one person
what is going on here?

was it planned this way?
who’s responsible?

ok, let me start again
fresh start
let me take this from the top
those paintings scare me

x-ray and shades
lower body cracks
bent over no casting

i want faders not knobs
push instead of twiddle
roam instead of fiddle
as if only

JULY 13, 2007

within one hour

why look now?
is it curiousity or
languid punishment
just close it down
put away the thorns
within one hour

active or hidden
doesn’t really matter
when the call comes
if it comes and you
actually can answer
within one hour

from a perilous tip
two different sightings
and clearing the air
or so you thought
pushing a little hard
within one hour

JULY 1, 2007

outperform

outperformed redress sinking sadly
into a sea of acetic dreams but none
taken back into the night

the race is on, full mass
from the back of the grid
stood up just to fall back down
rough up the surface so maybe
this coat will stick for awhile

ruling my world would be divine
if only i could find what’s mine
instead of filling up the day
tended to by the white suits
lollipops and sours sticking
to the floor. i can’t talk

killing me softly with words
and no words, not a peep
tourmaline turned down
great lengths wasted
favors seldom tasted
then frozen. i can’t run

a flat world, around she goes
where it stops god knows
but i can’t tell as i’m sliding
down the concrete supporting
god knows what, door is shut
and locked. i can’t walk

JUNE 24, 2007

zero for two

is it zero for two
and two for naught?
i hope not
maybe later
radio silence

i remember a fire pot
and burning pictures
and letters
but she was 19
and i watched

up in flames
no wonder
i felt the burn
eating away
ashes blowing
scattered

dimming

why is that light so bright?
trying to show my feelings
no, i don’t mind, although
it hurts and I’m losing track
just falling through the cracks

just take me home because
i don’t remember why i left
feeling kind of sick
please take me home

what will it be tonight?
keep smiling through
a little bit of insanity rains
down from the heavens
we’ll meet again
some sunny day

JUNE 18, 2007

mindful

mindful mopping never stopping
to feel the wet as i squeeze it out
of tendrils gray and ragged then
dump what’s left in the street

meta five, as four is not enough
to explain how far i’ve come but
never alone and still not as the
look remains elusive still with
only one or maybe two before

quintano came back again just
to say hi and thumb his nose
at what i thought i left behind

but the fronds are being tossed
by waves i can’t see and the two
are rather lost, or rather left me
behind in a fine dust, crushed
quartzsite and dreams spilling
through the narrow opening

quintano mocks me now
laughing at my inability
to look past thinly

cranes erecting or dredging
to build or clean and leverage
a rusting shell left out for
too many seasons

quintano just shakes
frozen ropes
at his feet

MAY 29, 2007

chasing

looking down
and hoping
to see it
to feel it
chasing
but it’s
never
the same
or sane
chasing
it passed
the past
is gone
i see it
languid
bittersweet
chasing

cry a little

fall or falter, doesn’t matter
which you say it still feels like
i need to cry a little because
each day i die a little but not
how you’d really expect

a character, a sweeping arc
crossed lines and radicals
flexing feet to drain the twist
and fighting the red mist
of what i couldn’t get past

i wished, i tried, i sighed
and settled down into a lull
slung chair moving pillows
it isn’t soft, just in the way
used to be thrilling, but now
just tiring, sad, and running

but you can’t run
i follow you
you can’t split
unless you’re ready
for four pieces
six in the room
and two alone

MAY 15, 2007

long time down

a california classic, or so i thought
a fanciful breed that couldn’t be bought
or sold out my second-hand soul
sorting things that have taken a toll

it’s a long time down
come back into town
it’s a long time down

sitting pretty, silly little ditty
living on a couch with no pity
losing my edge and slowly settle
remember the feel of the twisting metal

it’s a long time down
still won’t quite bend
it’s a long time down

to be continued…

MAY 9, 2007

i miss

i miss the laugh of the boy
i miss his youth that is running away
blink and you miss it
pray that you don’t
that you can stay in the moment
and view the world through his eyes

i miss dropping in and ducking
i miss the washing machine
nature having her way
and me letting her
wet quiet in a swirling storm

i miss my strings to pluck
i miss my string to stab
joining in the chorus
chasing the groove
touching what has no form

i miss myself sometimes
i miss who i could be
caught up in sorrows
chasing tomorrows
instead of just being to be

i miss you
i miss me
i miss the look
i miss the eyes
i miss the look

APRIL 29, 2007

pound off

quintero allure was walking
no, running, really
away or from, doesn’t really matter
far too mercurial, a mad hatter
squelching rumors and clandestine pies
binds that tie, kissing lies
a moot cycle indeed

the road to abbey was new
laid down in a trough
and gutter snipes laughing
but not enough staffing
to make a difference
a real difference
not a sears difference

the clams smell great
shuck one, pearl two
but aching muscles require
a helping hand, lost the band
a love that’s canned
and stored for a rainy day
expiration notwithstanding

MARCH 29, 2007

day make

what a difference a day
make it count make it wear
and tear and stare off
into a distant past passed on

rain reversing direction
falling up, failing up
flailing up and wiggle
second, third, fourth
chance to start but really
just quit counting

not caring, not knowing
but showing signs of time
actually spent not dreaming
shrinking away from dark
praying for the light
end to the night
end to more
or less

MARCH 23, 2007

absolutely

the prose flows from her
in beautiful arcs
brightly sprinkled voicing
that captivates and inspires
absolutely

an old soul but young
at heart and wise beyond
her tears that nourish art
so stunning she cannot yet see
absolutely

shining star streaking far
beyond what those around her
can see or feel or dream
beautiful dancer pirouettes
absolutely

deepest lover sheds the covers
armored no more instead
walks until the clack
then sits and breathes
absolutely

letting go and knowing that
every moment is a fresh start
she feels it all and braves it all
a precious soul that embodies grace
absolutely

MARCH 21, 2007

happy snippet

as Zoidberg would said, “I kid, I kid…” (of course that’s right before he starts either sobbing or going whoop whoop whoop)

if 5 was 7
it could be better
feeling suicidal
praying for revival
on the cold yellow tile
and a hot stream tries
to rinse off the edge

hanging head trying
to catch a breath inbetween
drops falling mixed with
everything else that came
before and after
never during

but duty calls
no time to rest
seems so long ago
can’t even remember
what rest is
was
could be
upcoming test
maybe absent
just can’t climb
sometimes no
is all i can do

MARCH 12, 2007

streak

streaking symbols shine and sparkle
it hurts to look
dance and flit turning orange
in the dropping distance
sputtered filaments not yet glowing
too early for this one

head to tail, red to black
fish soaring in spite of
or because of
no, wait, and…and

trails through the marsh
were adventure some time back
now seem small and painful
but only because the eyes
are tired
and the heart
is mired
currying favor
misplaced glory
same old story
dressed up goodbye
from both that came before
and now silent
stinging
quiet
void

it hurts to look but still i do
the shimmer beckons
siren song looking for a cove
to gather up and strike back
burst forth
turning
twisting
releasing
fall

MARCH 4, 2007

fades

it goes apart and comes around
rises up and settles down
waiting for the second stays
feeling like the winsome fades

message post in the night
away from the masses sight
at some point comment stops
from black to white it fades

characters of the mother tongue
slash and cross a lonely one
with no translation just assume
distance grows and reeling fades

seeking help from an old script
years have passed, the record skipped
stuck in a groove and scratching ties
and slowly dies the music fades

FEBRUARY 27, 2007

nothing

a little stick, it doesn’t sting
but makes you wonder
and take the referral
closing from both sides
probably nothing
don’t think it’s anything
probably nothing

spin at six, turn at seven
shouldn’t have ate
that first or second course
supposed to be low
probably nothing
not really anthing
probably nothing

ask the question
believe the answer
take the test
and hope you pass
probably nothing
don’t think anything
probably nothing

FEBRUARY 16, 2007

wish i could dance

only love can set you free
i was wrong when i wrote that song
twenty some odd years ago
it seems like five lifetimes
since i walked in the rain
and felt it running down my face
i wish i could dance

on patrol in the desert
i got the letter and saw the tape
made it all so very clear
but still held out hope
having to dig in and dig out
a few months pass by
i wish i could dance

rounding out the shattered nights
blocking out the neon lights
and sounds of the city pounding
my head like a heavy bag
stood there and took it
dished out all by myself
i wish i could dance

they don’t come around much
although a change was in the wind
sorry i couldn’t say more
but i’m tattered and torn
had finally edged forward
and slipped before i fell
i wish i could dance

FEBRUARY 14, 2007

demon down

arise! awake! but be still
and feel the lonely beat
lub dub lub dub
counting on the out
and trying not to crawl
out of your own skin

hear a step
open an eye
take a breath
stare the demon down

burning both sides
of a wax philosophic
drip drip drip
stinging puddles fly
and harden hearts
with silly sayings

see the past
feel the present
give the future
take the demon down

countdown barking loud
buzzing with excitement
tick tock
now’s the time
hit the high c
and leave it be

sound the alarm
turn that down
cut me up
run the demon down

FEBRUARY 9, 2007

betray

he sold me out
i was just looking
for a place to rest
go back inside
although i’m tired of staying
in slanting shadows and gazing
longingly at those turned inside out

he sold me out
i didn’t ask for much
just that he hold his tongue
cover my ears
pretend not to hear
but he spread it like manure
acrid and sticky in the heat

he sold me out
tried to let it go
but it comes back in a dream
barbed at the tip
special knots that make
mobius green with envy
and setting aside the black

FEBRUARY 7, 2007

all back

yell now, stomp your feet
the trees are bending
an offering, a message
to take it all in, receive it
and give it all back

sun breaking through
mist falls away
i’ve quit screaming
and tilting at windmills
turn around give it back

shrubs in fine rows
doors that never really close
in my mind strike a pose

boplicity reigns supreme
a love so true
green in blue
pounding on the skin
no double reed this time

walk calm but firm
release the grip
hold on gently
bare feet on the coals
but nothing burns

lines crossing the marsh
birds taking easy flight
leaving all that is harsh

wednesday

a two day window, a lucky strike
the second was the one that stuck
and plucked from the stack
dictating reams and filling in
a backstory that can’t win

see the lights from the city
knowing it might fall to pity
heart beating like a bass drum
but wednesday will never come

fogbound and grounded
strictly on instruments for now
couldn’t stand the weather
turn around and go back home
not the first to roam

driving the hills the slow turns
may be gone but the fire still burns
my heart feeling a little numb
but wednesday will never come

FEBRUARY 6, 2007

this will be

this will be
whatever flies free
from an open heart
and a damp face

this will be
whoever can see
the real me inside
take a peek

open quickly with pressed slacks
and squeaking shoes tied
too tight but maybe too much
up front as wednesday
will never come

this will be
wherever we flee
sent reeling by words
sitting is hard

this will be
however i’ll see
it through to the end
to the other side

FEBRUARY 1, 2007

old rhymes

Amazing what you find when you start throwing crap out. Not sure when this was written, but my guess is 2 years ago plus or minus. I think I write better stuff now, but it is what it was…

red lights passed and ignored
eventually they catch up
the price is high and climbing
enough tears to fill your cup

start what yo finish
how many times now
start what you finish
the question is how?

it wasn’t meant to play out like this
it wasn’t meant to play at all
innocence lost so very long ago
trying to climb back after the fall

start what you finish
some time to breathe
start what you finish
nothing up my sleeve

no choices quickly turn into many
being pulled three ways at one time
deiciding on which connection to cut
without killing all the lines

one way streets hurt the most
never going back to before
turn back time, walk back rhymes

start what you finish
living for someone else
start what you finish
stuck in any number of hells

JANUARY 25, 2007

standing still

why is it that when this song comes on
everything stands still
it all fades from view
pastels and charcoal lines
trailing off into the ether
raising ire or confusion in the spectators
how do you explain time and matter standing still?
gluons and muons pausing in respect
for something even more fundamental
hit the left arrow, I need pause again
profoundly tragic, defying logic, misty magic

standing still seeming static
stillness lies about the the island
underneath a dreamer, a schemer
taking a knife in the back despite the best
intentions, dr. klyser writes a new test
please check your weapons at the couch

differing opinions on whether to pick up
or put down the phone
curbing expectations, excoriations, and parade floats
glued on flowers and seed of discontent
the viewing area just screws up traffic
forgive me if I get just a bit graphic
but at some point you just call it a day no matter
how he shaped the clay before it was fired
sent to the cabinet because he didn’t have the tools

weak signals growing stronger, hurting longer
stringing along the knots you can’t untie
so you just cut the string and throw the mess out
a waste? denying your caste? decide in haste?
i suppose i could sit and untangle the mess
and try to fix family fortunes field
standing still singing static

JANUARY 21, 2007

park canto

she would hint but wouldn’t say
if it’s too late for me to see
Grace at play, dancing, dreaming, singing
a song with verses I never wrote
a melody swinging without my touch
a beat that was never shared
and when i asked instead she
sat with it and kept it tight
instead, said, “think about it”

the ink flows and reminds me
black smears on the paper hint at
the mess left behind, unpaid bills
red letter days, changing ways
whispers of vespers, do you really
have to go that far, i guess it wasn’t
nearly enough to anchor the rope or
pull hard enough and fast enough
to take up the slack or realize that
you needed to cast off the lines

a rising tide will carry you
and spare you the pain
instead joy shining
like the pearl you are
luminous, blinding
the light and the heat
healing deep wounds
salve for those you touch
and yourself
your self
beautiful self

JANUARY 19, 2007

get your coat

Another glimpse of the madman across the water.

wind is pushing the palms
time is crushing the calm
a wry smile garners no doubt
little left to gather or shout
about as it slides on down

i can see very well
where this all might sell

stuck…more later

JANUARY 11, 2007

strike three

you don’t get four strikes?
who made that rule?
they guy with the bit of drool
running down his chin?

the towers are turning
the ties are burning
the seas are churning
and a rock is tossed into the water

my sister pulled me aside
then cheated as i rolled
over and entered a private hell
and lie in a sagging farewell
waiting for hell to pay
and my brother to say
that it was all a bad dream

keep it down in there
too much noise how can i
sleep you accident that ruined
my nice little solo gig

gray skies and brown leaves
tennis shoes and short sleeves
means i’m not going to stay
not really up for a passion play

pulling the love out after
the year of tears and laughter
alone it seems rubbing my eyes
unable to hide despite my disguise

doctor can you see my fire
the wind that doesn’t require
the earth to hold for so long
going down left is oh so wrong

strike three writing back
sorry son but mostly you never hear
destined to wander not able to steer
no response station we’re out
strike three writing black

JANUARY 4, 2007

trades

a clarion call foretells a bending palm
loose in the trades arching away from
the howl that stings your face in a place
of abject beauty overtaken by plastic and
aluminum yet still the trades get their way
tossing chaise into lagoons made by digging
not by the moon and the water

coupled up surrounds me but on this trip
it’s only me and mini me although he is different
or maybe not instead a sign of what i seek
and am afraid to find amidst the trades

voices overheard from under the dome
hint of home left but soon rediscovered when
the bill comes due and the tram makes its
final stop at the lobby turning out the red
and raw and tired ready to tell the tales and
show the pictures of fun and sun now done
not really knowing what was taken by the trades

JANUARY 3, 2007

point

Here’s where I need to get to. Well, if I get there. I suppose on island time you get where you get when you get there. Hmm, that’s a lot of get.

left point driving right
here i thought it might
feel ok or at least not sting
as bad as some of the other things

turns out it does and rather now
intensifies as i’m feeling how
i didn’t before and clearly see
what a tidy mess lies before me

time to unpack and stay awhile
despite it feeling like being on trial
for crimes committed by the mother
and counsel now left for another

discering folk will pass it by
another search can let you try
to live and learn and love to be
alone together, myself and me

DECEMBER 19, 2006

damaged

looking for shelter from the storm that
brews within licking a raw inside cut
a bad boy who’s lost his way

a runner on the sands of war with a kit
full of sister morphine and bloody gauze
homecoming to the pipes that play

tossing fastballs warmed up too fast
but that was just an excuse to no try
and stay with the familiar sting

not ready when the first one came along
the vacuum scares him, that’ll work
reading meters, checking out, never there

the second was a mistake but can’t send it back
so settle in for the long haul in suit and tie
in by 7 out by 5 and gone the rest of the time

can’t really blame you, never had a chance
too bad you had to take me down too
didn’t have the tools to make it work

hurry sundown so we can leave this place
under cover of the night we’re all the same
and he’ll never find us here

damaged one and all but this still
makes me shake my head and wonder
and fight my way out of the enveloping haze

it isn’t stopping

dear, kiss me once more
that i may wear your love
and be free from this ache
that isn’t stopping

jesus walked on the water
turned the water into wine
we drink the wine and touch
our glasses, everything is fine

a number not in service
under cover of the night
spirits fly from the gorge
to santee leaving it all behind

lines of poetry sing a mystery
but its few and far between
a caring touch instead of
a harsh word overheard

there’s a place named for my dad
and the home we never had
the only chance now is to work
and keep from passing it on

DECEMBER 16, 2006

spark

banking dark
brings a spark
take a picture and leave your future
loving summer what will you do
feel like a person you can find
it’s a long way to your mind

banking dark
praying spark
somebody inside never been done
wonderful tonight leaves a trace
breathing hard in the space
between the notes my love

banking dark
filling spark
one slip walks away from me

DECEMBER 15, 2006

post watts muse

dreaming dreams that seem to make
sense but then when she says to think
about it something kicks the gut and
sends me reeling, steeling a glance
hoping that she was kidding but
she wasn’t

banking dark
bringing stark
reminders
of days and times left standing
in the rain soaked memory or is it
tears that kill the pain

after so many years of filling up
you have to dig out and empty
a life full of hardened edges made
blunt by constant teacher pounding
passed for love now you know that
she wasn’t

banking dark
makers mark
remembers
feelings pushed back into boxes
flipping clocks and purple toxic
tears that leave a stain

step into the void step lightly
even though the hardest joy
is found in walking apart because
if you don’t you’ll never know if
you really felt and if you can’t
she wasn’t

banking dark
tiring park
reinjures
a weakened joint missed the point
and sailed past a chance for
tears that break the chain

DECEMBER 6, 2006

think about it

Ever sing to your voicemail? Well, you can’t write while driving your track car to Willow…

in a fit of circumspection
i lost my reflection
think about it
yeah, i’ll think about it

walked away and came out
stronger than before
ended up in the same place
but with a different face

hope you like the new we
and wonder what you’ll
think about it
and what i’ll
think about it

NOVEMBER 27, 2006

t minus

t minus 7 and counting
seems that’s the way these days
actually since the far east sun
showed the walls so steep
and feelings running deep

or maybe it was before
we’ve been down this road
before but each time is more
easy and hard, yin and yang
micro bursts and big bang

ok, i don’t get it
it’ll be alright
ok, i don’t sweat it
it’ll be alright

always easier when you’re out first
and can sit and watch from the side
but when it’s gone offline the mind
loves to run and bake pies and cakes
sweet with the hurt i always make

ok, i don’t like it
it’ll be alright
ok, i can’t take it
it’ll be alright

i really ought to know by now
how i’ll feel when it hits
doctor can you see me
again this week?

ok, i won’t fight it
it’ll be alright
ok, i can’t right it
it’ll be alright

t minus 6 and counting
beautiful fish run through your fingers
the hard land of the winter coming
make it more than it is this time
if the snapshot holds stay sublime

ok, i can’t mold it
it’ll be alright
ok, i can’t hold it
it’ll be alright

ok, i can take it
it’ll be alright
ok, i can fake it
it’ll be alright
ok, I can make it

NOVEMBER 26, 2006

used to play

i used to sing i was the omega man
always talking to myself
and i did too. walk down the street
mumbling to myself. afraid to touch
the gaze of another for fear that i might
find something in myself or in them. in them
that would be the worst. i used to play

i thought tokyo was bad. but that was just
a warmup act for a much bigger stage
baby, you should see me now. or maybe not
i’m not quite ready for my closeup

the hell you say. i agree. fanfare for this common man
but i’m far from common. ordinary. normal. sane. take your pick
you can label me right now but by the time you speak
you’ll miss a beat and i slip a measure
find the time. lose the rhyme. lose the beat. find the turn
around. a round life. a round ball. i used to play

she buried me in a print impossible
cyan running deep between my mind
but this other she took me and walked
raw haze swung left and missed

an opportunity to slide out and back in
hey baby, where are you coming from?
you stepped into my world and left yours in
a back room with a light swinging
and cases stacked like dreams
but stay out of both and find your own
a fine team. you’ll pick first. i used to play

i’ve got the key to the highway but no gas
left in the tank and i’m a little short
can you spare some change? wait that’s
been my fear for far too long. hang on. hold tight

layla came and whispered in my ear. she hasn’t done that
for many years but i thought i heard her say,
“please leave me alone.”
so i’m back with white lightning and wine
and too many j’s hurting me in different ways
i trusted them all, and took it hard thinking
it was all my fault. put down the pick. i used to play

break the glass in case you need a ragged edge to
compare where you’ve been to where you might
end up if you can’t get a bit of sleep in a corner
of someone’s life especially your own

own. funny word. don’t really own it
only the way you feel about it and see about
getting a hand to pick up the pieces of the mirror
that worked so well but walked away because
she had to grow beyond the mercury smeared on the
smooth surface, perfect except for the line of tears
“you should get those removed,” he said
no, no…it’s perfect the way it is. i used to play

slipknow

why did you hang around this place?
did you get hooked on these plots
or maybe the drama of watching
me burn and twist of my own
devices and toy with the fire
in my eye and the pits that
slowly pull the light from
the skies and the high
that crashes without
a splash because
when it hits it
has no mass
or heaven
to pray
save
me
.
slip, know

four

push
edge
flow

push
know
pull

make
pain
real

heal
your
pain

give
many
take
some
tear
down

push
edge
flow

love
real
love

cleaned up

everybody is moving on
got their mojo working
kissing the sky
with the pains tucked away
and good riddance to the hurt

rocking like a baby
the runners always give their feel
from one ordeal
to another, the river bends
and fades around and tends
to the carriage car

knowing less than before
makes me sit uneasy
and a bit queasy
from that second drink
there’s a minimum
you angry chrysanthemum

every night changes hue
shapes and lines block
take stock, lightly mock
a wagging finger, strapping dagger
plunged into worry

it bleeds dark hues
i said it changed the night
alters sight, you said it would be alright
but it isn’t. I find a hit but digging deeper
reveals a fatal flaw or maybe
i’m just looking too hard

i’m dropping down a step or notch
i had whisky but maybe scotch
would have been a better choice
give me that microphone
i’ve been sitting here all night
and you said it would be all right

an evening with the movie queens
and kings up on the hill
showed your pull and hold on
me and my needy little pawn
pushed around the board
bullies, blues, and theives

crossing the line we lose a day
but gain our soul, in a crate that
fell from first class, a crate that
spells the death of our brother
brooklynn holds the charmer underneath

the green day is really sick and misery
flies from the board as they try
to bring forth on holiday

no pressure. no pressure. no pressure
this isn’t good. we need pressure
this isn’t good. kill the pressure

the dawning of the rest of our lives
this is the life on holiday
until it is found for what it is
and what it isn’t. is. isn’t

off to empty roads
to walk alone
i walk alone

my shadow is beating and fighting, i wish they would find me
my shadow is dancing the line, i wish they would find me
my shadow is the only thing that wakes inside me
i walk alone

their shadows want to walk inside me
they want to tramp all over my stuff. my stuff
if they tramp, they will die. i will make sure of that
if they tramp, they will cry. i will make sure of that
if they tramp, kill them before they cry, then make sure of it

a touch, a squirt, a repeat. no way of doing it
drop the shy act. work it hard. this is the sht

could disclaimers be any worse? Line them all up and shoot them
right in the middle of a good dream, somethig burbbled up, “I think I you love”
so what am I so afraid of? A love there is not cure enough

this is just pop dribble. throws this crap out. turn it down
too much loving going on. that makes much
i outsourced it. I OUTSOURCED IT!!!
it’s a sweet joke. 2:30am is a sweet joke too
but a nasty one. znrumsn hsndhe dsyd ell

see the glory of the royal
the glory of the wonder or wonder how
i need wood lock. i can’t see straight any more

the streak is running it off. I’ll argue my case

near 3, fading
139 is a weak one
so is off
fade.tw.gky

losing it
how it is no now
done now

everybody

everybody is moving on
got their mojo working
kissing the sky
with the pains tucked away
and good riddance to them

rocking like a baby
the runners always give their feel
from one ordeal
to another, the river bends
and fades around and tends
to the carriage car

knowing less than before
makes me sit uneasy
and a bit queasy
from that second drink
there’s a minimum
angry chrysanthemum

every night changes hue
shapes and lines block
take stock, lightly mock
a wagging finger, strapping dagger
plunged into worry

it bleeds dark hues
i said it changed the night
alters sight, you said it would be alright
but it isn’t. I find a hit but digging deeper
reveals a fatal flaw or maybe
i’m just looking too hard

i’m dropping down a step or notch
i had whisky but maybe scotch
would have been a better idea
give me that microphone
i’ve been sitting here all night
and you said it would be all right

an evening with the movie queens
and kings up on the hill
showed your pull and hold on
me and my needy little pawn
pushed around the board
bullies, blues, and theives

crossing the line we lose a day
but gain our soul, in a crate that
fell from first class, a crate that
spells the death of our brother
brooklynn holds the charmer underneath

the green day is really sick and misery
flies from the board as they try to
to bring forth on holiday

no pressure. no pressure. no psressure
this isn’t good. we need pressure
this ins’t good. kill the pressure

the dawning of the rest of our lives
this is the life on holidy
until it is found for what it is
and what it isn’t. is. isn’t

off to empyty roads
to walk alone
i walk alone

my shadown is beating and fighting. i wish they would find me
my shadow is walking down the line, i wish they would find me

i walk alone
my shadows the only thinbg tat walks besided me
mj shadows the only thigs tht wlks inside me
i walk alone

the shadows want to walk inside me
they want to tramp all over my stuff. my stuff
if they tramp, they will die. i will make sure o that
if they tramp, they will cry. i will make sure of that
if they tramp, kill them befoere they cry, then make sure of it.

a touch, a squirt, a repeat. Now way of doing it.
drop the shy act. work it hard. this is the sht

could disclaimers be any worse? Line them all up and shoot them
right in the middle of a good dream, somethig burbbled up, “I think I you love”
so what i so afraid of? A love there is nnot cure enough.

this is jsut prop dribble. throws this crap ot. turn kt down. Too muhc loving gong on. that makes much. i outsourced it. I OUTOURCED IT!!! it’s a sweet joke. 2:30am is a sweetjoke too. But a nast one. znrumsn hsndhe dsyd ell

see the glory of the rroyal) Thye flglory of the wondow or wonderdow. I need wook lock. i can’t see straight any or

the strea is ruiing ot of f. ‘ll arge my cai

near 3, fading.o39 is a weak one. so is off. fade.tw.gky

losing it. hou t is fi no now.done noe.

(note: this is the original, typos and all. I have no conscious recollection of writing anything after “brooklynn holds the charmer underneath”. The rest all came from somewhere else…)

NOVEMBER 24, 2006

shine on

a crazy pearl
you travel the world
and often change shape
they’re your means of escape

shine on, shine on
brighter than the heavens
shine on, shine on

climb into one mind
for fear you won’t find
the baby within
but she’s there, she’s beautiful, she’s there

shine on, shine on
the universe is similing
shine on, shine on

your brilliance so bright
you seem to lose sight
of the power inside
and the love that you ride

like a dragon with a pearl
you’ll turn around the world
and take the shaky steps
realize the promises kept

shine on, shine on
your power is growing
shine on, shine on
your beauty is showing
shine on, shine on
the muses are throwing
a party for you

love always, love well
shine always, shine well
shine on, shine on

NOVEMBER 15, 2006

devil mind middle round

deja vu all over again
fighting it
in measured doses
and an attempt to be
someone I’m not
or someone I am
or at this point just be
devil mind spins on its axis
throwing muses that cannot help
gouging a hole in the table
that i’ll have to fix

I’ve fixed holes where the rain gets in
to try and stop my mind from wandering
where it will go
where it can go
where it must go
driven by dark shadows and
steel glances from the time of 8

step up and get it right
step up and take what you’re owed
step up and take a man
bring dishonor to ourselves and family
we live through you, you bastard
get it fucking right.

but what if I don’t? what if I can’t?
What if the point is to get it wrong. So very wrong.
And show the others how not to do it.
Is there not value in my failure?
It may be ugly and difficult.
But there is beauty and elegance in the difficulty.

Difficulty hovers like a hawk, circling empowerment
empowerment puts on a good show
but really doesn’t know as she is depending on
the hawk to tell her what to think
and what to breath
and when to die

It is not now. It is not tomorrow.
It is when the muse releases
us to create the note and world
and find a spot to carry out
some work in peace
some work in love
some work in joy.

NOVEMBER 10, 2006

the idea guy

Be careful what you wish for is what they say
The Chinese wish, “may you live in interesting times.”
I’m Chinese don’t you know
Even though a cold wind blows

My wheels turn 24/7 but that’s what they want
They pay you for those cycles and gears
I’m quite tired don’t you know
And on the TV nothing but snow

The idea guy walks at a pace
That scares you if you bother to notice
He thinks to keep the demons down
But they won’t leave his town

He’s smart and manic and bursting forth
He can be quite a handful sources say
Afraid of making another one of himself
Letting her walk he climbs on the shelf

It turns out that outliers are lonely
When the mania fades into sackcloth
It’s been years since he got ashes
And around the corner another crashes

The idea guy runs until empty
But find the reserve and starts over again
He fights to keep the demons down
Anything to avoid a backless gown

OCTOBER 8, 2006

last time seen

A cut up, a card
kissing the darkness
embracing a doorway
in a dream not blessed
with a street named mercy

Driven the loop
a faded dash
warped from the heat
and years that passed
a decade down

You never know
the last time scene
and sand between
walk up the stairs
last time seen

SEPTEMBER 2, 2006

tired of it all

twist and strech
and try to pull
yourself out of the car
or out of the bed
or out of a rut
same old patterns
but a different time
and place and space
can’t go on the side
or bend to flex
holding fluid
won’t go down
you hold it up
and tuck your arm
and hope your weight
doesn’t pull her down
or pull you down
but you’ll fall down
because what goes up
must come down
and sometimes further
down than you think
you can’t feel or see
so you didn’t
but now you do
because you can
doesn’t make it easy
doesn’t make it right
does make me tired
of it all

AUGUST 13, 2006

mercy street

Grace’s fraternal twin sister, Mercy visits me from time to time. Sometimes Peter has to hit me over the head to acknolwdge it. And sometimes Mercy isn’t sweet and supportive, but instead sad and rips and tears. Not because she means to cause pain, quite the contrary. But the cold hard reality is that to be able to greet Mercy, the scars have to be pierced. And that hurts. I remember being on my knees, looking for Mercy. She was there, looking over my shoulder. But unable to speak. I turned, seeing double from the tears and the fear. Mercy and Grace a fleeting vision as they looked at each other and walked. Unable to help except in my dreams. Until I could wear my inside out.

I press the string and a note sings. It’s sweet, then it fades, only to be replaced by another as the key shifts. They move into the void in a vain attempt to fill it. The lesson that has to be learned again and again. There’s tenderness in the void. The empty space between the notes. Trying to fill it chases the love and joy away. Let it sit. Damp the string and pause. Sit out a beat. Then ease in gently. There is a time to slap. And a time to let it bloom. And a time to sit out. Not quitting. There is a reason they call them rests. Another bar will come around. It always does. Until it doesn’t. Then you’re done. Try not to think about it, Alice. Say hello to Grace and Mercy.

Is this what I’m supposed to be doing? I guess we’ll find out. Because if I don’t at least ask the question, then I’ll never know. And there are some things that you need to know. Or at least ask. Live the question…

gig2.jpg

JULY 25, 2006

nothing

you enter with nothing
you leave with nothing
all you have is the journey
and the love you find along the way

JUNE 20, 2006

lyric turn

while I contemplate my sad behavior
I sit and drink it in quiet displeasure
those cruel shoes laugh and giggle
and remind me that the journey is stained

JUNE 15, 2006

sniuppet

how do you take it as it comes
how do you learn to walk, not run
a world that turns so fast
makes today feel like the past

MARCH 15, 2006

rooftop

Your heart pulls at me just like an entertainer
Yeah, but you’re up a little too high
Ain’t no thing but tell me please what’s the truth
I feel like you left it all out to die

Up there on the rooftop, you said this was strong
Shine a light, shine all day

Your friends know I would be like some intruder
Could have been the one that stole your heart
You had to say our time alone was golden
How was I to know, another by your side

So why then are you singing, that I could be your king?
I never need it, I don’t believe it

It hurt me so to lose you, I hand it right to me
Ain’t got much to say, someone else to blame
Ain’t got much to say, so long

You say love the sinner, have them to dinner
Then when I try you won’t take my call
I just take to suffering in silence
I’ll never figure out your heart

Thought you pulled a fast one, but I try to learn
Story of my life, a story for my daughter

Up there on the rooftop, you said that kiss was wrong
Ain’t got much to say, someone else to blame
Ain’t got much to say, so long

It hurt me so to lose you, I hand it right to me
Shine a light, shine on me

Up there on the rooftop, you told me this was strong
Ain’t got much to say, someone else to blame

MARCH 12, 2006

sometimes

sometimes you get a good night’s sleep. sometimes you don’t
sometimes your dreams are ok. sometimes they’re not (but always interesting)
sometimes you think you’re doing ok. sometimes you don’t
sometimes your body hurts. sometimes it doesn’t
sometimes you say the right thing. sometimes you don’t
sometimes your words make someone smile. sometimes they don’t
sometimes you think it matters. sometimes it doesn’t
sometimes you’re able to be in the moment. sometimes you’re not
sometimes you think it was you. sometimes it wasn’t

sometime is always now. except when it isn’t

DECEMBER 28, 2005

edge dance

The magic is found on the edge
the ragged edge
make it dance
not step and fetch
always pushing until I let it go
let it flow
empty mind that I can find
but notice and it’s gone

you can’t chase it
you can’t erase it
you can’t base it
on where you’ve been before

It means so much
to let it go
seek it you will not find
a voice standing
imagination landing
on top of it all

JANUARY 15, 2005

everything i did

You can hide but you can’t run
From a sun always setting never letting
You catch your breath
Or mourn the death
Of dreams you never knew you had

Decisions made without you knowing
But its going to change things forever
Unless you call
Or try to stall
To read the cards or change your hand

No good choice or answer to
Everything we said and everything we did
So sad I never knew you before
Everything I said and everything I did

All the trappings, correctly named
Can’t blame the ones around you
Was dead inside
I try to hide
Behind a full basket of toys and toil

No good choice or answer to
Everything we said and everything we did
So sad I never knew you before
Everything I said and everything I did

There’s an easy way, and the highway
Turning in too early means
You’re headed off track

When we’re done I shake my shirt
Leave the hurt for another day
My heart beats loud
Happy but not proud
Finally feeling something in an empty spot

No good choice or answer to
Everything we said and everything we did
So sad I never knew you before
Everything I said and everything I did

your eyes

Your eyes are looking thru me
and see me in a light that shines
from somewhere deep inside

your eyes show me hope where before
there was only slowly dying
fruit on the vine, left behind

your eyes flash with the fire
burning bright, so very bright
it hurts to look sometimes

your eyes belie a pain inside
left too soon and cast adrift
no bright stars to show the way

your eyes tell a story not yet cast
a passion play with spirits that
above all yearn to be free

JANUARY 15, 2004

inside my outside

Had enough, how many times
Too many to count, no defense to mount
I’m inside my outside and back again

Live up to the mirror, how many times
Not good enough, lay up from the rough
I’m inside my outside and back again

She’s the one, how many times
In love with the idea of being in love
I’m inside my outside and back again

If I knew then, how many times
Mistakes are the same, different game
I’m inside my outside and back again

Today’s a new day, how many times
Feels suspiciously like, falling off the same old bike
I’m inside my outside and back again

4 nights in tokyo

Pin the hopes and dreams on a slice of time
There’s danger in tying to a moment always dying
Packed and ready, played around the edges for so long
A proper coming out, a chance to bury some doubt

4 Nights in Tokyo, it would make it all right
4 Nights in Tokyo, could be a bit too tight

11 hours in a tin can, wasn’t the worst part
No time for a refill, could be my bitter pill
Big city, bright lights, small room
Just like the inside, losing grip on the ride

4 Nights in Tokyo, sit in a stranger’s car
4 Nights in Tokyo, a warm spot seems so far

Know yourself, know the world, no nothing
Foundation cracks, no grounding strap
Overbooked, undercooked, worry how it looked
When did the sun start setting in the east?

4 Nights in Tokyo, the room is getting smaller
4 Nights in Tokyo, the shadow is getting taller

Finally come clean, but the call starts a spin
First flight out, clear the decks, hold on tight
Hoping to clear, when back on thin ice
Home field advantage, still just can’t manage

4 Nights in Tokyo, home seems bittersweet
4 Nights in Tokyo, it’s still incomplete

i need myself

To see a smile, and hear that laugh
Never meaning to break the ties
Or hurt someone on my behalf
Scars can tell a twisted tale
Mistakes were made the same
And not afraid to fail

I need you but I need myself
I need you and I heal myself

A chance to see just what is lost
Eyes in that stunning shot,
Tell volumes of the cost
Mistakes are made, and then repeated
It’s hard to face the facts,
See the one that cheated

I need you but I need myself
I need you and I heal myself

This turn is short, cannot waste
See the light and reach for it
With people we are graced
To have a choice, although it’s blurred
See the way and feel today
A heart is finally heard

I need you but I need myself
I need you and I heal myself

JANUARY 15, 2003

maestro x and mr. depression

I saw the fireworks, neighbors screaming
Or was it applause?
Descent into madness, gladness
That leering eye, Mr. Depression and Maestro X
In the cardboard hotel
Preparing for the big test flight

Cooking in a corner, the garage smells sweet
Time for the monster step, blast shields down
The bundle brings great joy
Now a trip to the ranch, payment due and time served

Big Al chases the dragon, I slump and watch
And scrape the cooler for a pile of my own
George looks like Jesus, and feels like him too

Sodium burns big and bright
Say, how much to clean the kitchen?
Her biker friends left quite a mess
Just don’t break the glassware

Are the streets safe for the little man?
Sqeeze tight, take a big bite
We can always prop you up if need be

One missed christmas proved enough
Back home with tail between the legs
Your friends will never be welcome here
Time for a new set anyway

Thought I saw one of the crew in court
Ducked down the hall, leave that world behind
Must push forward, can’t slide back
If the neighbors only knew

Maestro X and Mr. Depression, taking static from the boys

cul d’ sac memories

Shiny polyester and lightweight metal siding
Sliding off the sofa but it sticks to naugahyde
Tackle fumble, smear the queer and hockey in the street
The carpool is home and there’s helper for the meat

Which floorplan did you get? Our’s is 3 plus 2
I understand we can go with beige or tan
Did you hear who moved in right next door?
We’re out of milk honey, can you run to the store?

Danger on the rocks, scotch is there too
Time to take stock, how do you do?
Cul de sac memories, suburban dreams
Cul de sac memories, suburban dreams

Show up for class, the first day is tough
That Scooby Doo backpack is so last year’s news
Finding your way but sometimes it don’t clique
Your words and your feet are no match for a stick

It shines so bright it hurts
Lockstep lives can’t miss a beat
The next wave making more than the last
Or tune it out and hope for a better past

Catch you on the flip side, last words he said to me
Time wounds all heels and drops the rest
The street lost it’s shine and seems smaller now
But ready for another round to find out how

Danger on the rocks, scotch is there too
Time to take stock, how do you do?
Cul de sac memories, suburban dreams
Cul de sac memories, suburban dreams

glow of the tube

wake up, on it comes, dog and a cat and a gray mouse too
will they ever get off that island? cocoanut radio can’t bring a rescue

harsh words, lost turns, all is washed clean away
safe and warm, in the glow of the tube

he has to work late, tater tots in a metal meal
trouble at the four oh double seven, and perky Mary blew the deal

harsh words, lost turns, all is washed clean away
safe and warm, in the glow of the tube

monkey around, birds in the hand, do they really play?
Come on Bob, is he really insane? But the doorman can stay

split apart, or threats thereof, tune it out and turn it up
safe and warm in the glow of the tube

everything wraps up, in 23 or less
except for two parters
I have a clue for you, I shot jr and bobby too

now it’s gritty and shakes, reality scripted a bit too late
admit the man he beat us, and reruns for my mate

split apart, or threats thereof, tune it out and turn it up
safe and warm in the glow of the tube

one more ride

Sitting at the edge of the shore, digging in the sand
waves roll and tumble back, sun dropping fast

runs through your fingers, like so many cares
holes fill in, and soon, like they were never there

not many walking, packing up to go
a little late in the season
but that never stopped you before

always the last to go
just one more for the road
hoping it will bring you
back for a moment, back for a bit
back for a moment, sometimes I just sit

just one silhouette, framed by the tide
brings back a time, just one more ride

try and find the point, so much time has passed
another chance to see the world, that spins so fast

he’s digging, I’m sitting
he’s jumping, I’m frozen
next time, next time

two silhouettes, framed by the tide
bring back a time, just one more ride

DECEMBER 24, 1983

tangelo control

If you add it all up and nothing’s there
and it’s getting so you just don’t care
if you find somebody swiped your soul
hand it off to the tangelo control

if you come on over
think you’ll begin to see the light
if you can’t make it, that’s allright

you can turn left, then go right
continue on until you done lost sight
keep on ’till you near your goal
but you can never stray from the tangelo control

if you come on over
think you’ll begin to see the light
if you can’t make it, that’s allright

you say you want to make it all on your own
when it gets tough you just want to take a loan
even though you want to stay whole
got to leave some for the tangelo control

if you come on over
think you’ll begin to see the light
if you can’t make it, that’s allright

slant of light

the sun is shining in
but i can’t see no light
help is coming soon
but i keep losing sight

slant of light, slant of light, yeah

the wind is surely blowing
but i can’t feel a breeze
is there on one here
who can tend to my needs?

slant of light, slant of light, yeah

the doors they are open
something won’t let me out
i thought i was doing good
but now i’m lost in doubt
the end shouldn’t be near
the walls keep closin’ in
i think it must be time
to pay for all my sins

slant of light, slant of light, yeah

don’t have to cry

to the seaside, washing me clean
sing for rain, foster dreams
some too many, others not gone
come to me, take a seat

sick of my days, heal my night scar
just sold my mom belly up to the bar
look and listen something got to come down
i may not make it but you don’t have to cry
dont’ have to cry

heave and leave before i grieve
systems down, can’t sort out
pass the throttle, speed me out
scam the cash, buy all doubts

sick of my days, heal my night scar
just sold my mom belly up to the bar
look and listen something got to come down
i may not make it but you don’t have to cry
dont’ have to cry

is this mission impossible
double cross, frame them all
you can pray, the walls may fall down
as for me, back to town

sick of my days, heal my night scar
just sold my mom belly up to the bar
look and listen something got to come down
i may not make it but you don’t have to cry
dont’ have to cry