kitler
There's a site for everything...
July 12, 2006
even the bar isn't safe
A Miami-based 7-year-old beverage-monitoring software company is drinking from the keg of RFID and is selling a tilt switch that attaches to bottles and updates an Internet database every time the bottle is poured. Hilton, Hyatt, Outback Steakhouse, TGI Fridays and others are reportedly testing the system.
It's not merely recording how many times the bottle is poured, but it factors in the tilt of the bottle, the duration of the pour and the bartender's pouring style to calculate how much liquid is leaving the bottle.
more @ eweek
July 11, 2006
got my muse, but no power
Damn...just damn. Well, actually OK in the end, but Tuesdays are busy days for me. This one no different, as I had a morning meeting with a collaborator to discuss revisions on a paper we're writing, then my appt, then the boy's appt, then dinner, etc. And at some point along the way I had to get a proposal done. I had a very rough draft last night, but needed to do some serious cleaning. So I planned on the window between appts, figuring I'd go to Peets (where my muse hangs out) and knock it out there.
Got to Peets, sat down to write, but saw I only had 17% battery. No problem, I'll just plug in. Hmm...no I won't, no AC adapter. Crap. Having already ordered my mocha, I frantically typed away until I hit 2%, then shut it down. Back home to get the AC adapter, but by that time I had to get the boy. Luckily that gives me another 45 minute window to write, this time at a Starbucks. I had trouble getting on my t-mobile hotspot account, but after a call to the 800 number I was online. Finished the draft and sent it off at 4:55pm. Hey, I said before the end of the day. And that is early for me...I've considered 11:59pm "end of the day" before, and I think I might have invoked "in Hawaii" before. Whatever it takes...
July 10, 2006
more of the park
and this trumps them all
jack trumps chuck
from various blogs...
- The reason why terrorists attacked New York City was because Jack
Bauer was in LA.
- You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and
he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.
- Every time you masturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase
you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
- If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your
life.
- Colin Farrell smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. Jack Bauer smokes a
pack of terrorists anytime he feels like it.
- Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next
half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
- Jack Bauer once told God he needed access, the event has since been
referred to as “The Big Bang.”
- Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right
now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
- When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists.
Jack Bauer frigging hates lemonade.
- Did you know there was a national disaster last night while you were
sleeping? Of course you didn’t, Jack Bauer was on duty.
- When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack
Bauer.
- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair
fight.
- Osama bin Laden’s recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him
finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
- Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack
Bauer.
- If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
- Jack Bauer’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second
favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
- Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was
shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
- Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
- If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a
bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
- Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
- The quickest way to a man’s heart is through Jack Bauer’s gun.
- Deaf people listen to Jack bauer.
- Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer
killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
- Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real
fact.
- Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.
- Jack Bauer cannot stick his elbow in his ear, but he can stick your
elbow in your ear.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
In chess, Jack Bauer can checkmate you in 1 move.
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
Jack Bauer makes onions cry.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Don't ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar...
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Jack Bauer's gun is actually a water pistol, but the water shoots out in the form of bullets. Why? Because the gun is being held by Jack fucking Bauer.
If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.
If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're fucked.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
While being 'put under' in the hospital, Jack Bauer can count backwards from 100 every time. This annoys the doctors.
David Spade always says 'yes' to Jack Bauer when he wants to redeem his credit card miles.
Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
Jack Bauer has no problem following orders, unless you tell him to do something he doesn't want to.
Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.
As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
Jack Bauer isn't hiding from the world, the world is hiding from Jack Bauer.
Children don't believe in Santa anymore because they know Jack Bauer killed him. The few people that believe in Santa know that Jack Bauer is torturing him.
If Jack Bauer had been on Oceanic 815 there would no Lost.
Jack Bauer can sneeze with his eyes open.
Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Jack Bauer shouldn't be compared to Jesus. Jack rose from the dead not once, but twice.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself.
When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.
Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.
Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.
If you can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.
When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.
"Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm fucked".
What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?"
You walk into a bar and Jack Bauer's your wingman, you're probably gonna get laid.
Strippers tip Jack Bauer.
When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".
Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack Bauer during sex; because they are doing the same thing.
Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday.
It is a known fact that when Time magazine awards "The Man of Year*", there is fine print on the bottom of the cover that says, " *besides Jack Bauer."
When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
Jack Bauer once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.
Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."
Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer.
In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.
Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."
Jack Bauer once went into a bar, and asked for a 'Jack Bauer'. He received three shots of Jack Daniel's, a shot of kerosene and four shots of tequila mixed. When seeing this, another man approached the bar and asked for a Jack Bauer. He got a 9mm round to the face.
The truth may hurt, but it doesn't hurt as much as Jack Bauer.
The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer.
Never use the phrase, "I feel half dead," around Jack Bauer; he never leaves a job unfinished.
Jack would never have given up the wet list... no one takes potential kills away from Jack Bauer.
Chase Edmunds waited until he was sure Jack Bauer was dead before he dumped Kim.
Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
Quetin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent.
In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around?
Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."
Don't beg Jack Bauer to shoot you. He will simply shoot your wife. No man tells Jack Bauer what to do.
Jack Bauer can leave a message before the beep.
During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.
If Jack Bauer saw a terrorist reaching for a bomb to blow himself up, Jack would shoot the bomb first. Nobody steals a kill from Jack Bauer.
My parents told my little brother and I that Jack Bauer was "just a television character". We are now orphans.
If Jack Bauer shot you while quail hunting, it wouldn't be an accident.
If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.
Jack Bauer's influence is so strong that with one call to the NCAA, the deceased, former director of CTU George Mason was able to make it to the Final Four.
All men are created equal. They are all vastly inferior to Jack Bauer.
but we don't clean films
A federal judge in Colorado has handed the industry a big win in its protracted legal battle against a handful of small companies in Utah, Arizona and Colorado that offer sanitized versions of theatrical releases on DVD. The case encompasses two of Hollywood's biggest headaches these days: the culture wars and the disruptive influence of digital technologies.
Senior U.S. District Court Judge Richard Matsch came down squarely on the side of the DGA and the major studios in his ruling that the companies must immediately cease all production, sale and rentals of edited videos. The summary judgment issued Thursday requires the companies -- Utah-based CleanFlicks, CleanFilms and Play It Clean Video, Arizona-based Family Flix USA and the separate entity CleanFlicks of Colorado -- to turn over all existing copies of their edited movies to lawyers for the studios for destruction within five days of the ruling.
more @ Backstage.com
July 09, 2006
where's marwan?
You weren't going to be using those fingers anyway...
The lamp cord was a nice touch...
Still like the bullet above the kneecap though...show's that you really care enough to send the best.
July 08, 2006
quiet friday night
The 24 jag continues. And if you're locked in front of the tv for hours on end during a Friday night by yourself (S is still in Europe), then you might as well practice your manual of arms and do a little cleaning.
Remember: the smell of nitro is the smell of clean...
July 07, 2006
i know jack
Ack! I'm on a 24 jag! I don't really watch much/any network or "live" tv these days...my viewing is limited to F1 races, Iron Chef and Law and Order reruns. But S kept bugging me about 24. So I tivo'd it and we worked through the episodes. Holy Crap! Jack kicks ass. Literally. And shoots kneecaps. Well, actually just above the kneecap so the person can still walk. And before as S was leaving for Europe she left me with season 4 on DVD. And I started watching Tuesday. I'm now up to 1pm. It's 1am my time. I just need to finish this disc...
July 06, 2006
jesus will survive
I'll probably burn in hell for this, but hey, I didn't shoot it:
July 05, 2006
double the fu
Well, last night I had options. It's nice to have options. But first the work part of things. I've had a paper I've been working on for the last 6 months or so, co-written with jsb. It has been hanging over my head, and I kept putting it off. Well, an actual deadline came, so I finally hunkered down at Peets and summoned my muse. And finished it. Before closing. So I had a free evening (psychologically at least). I ran into Larry (sifu) near Peets, and mentioned that I might come to class tonight. I've been taking time off from kung fu to try and rehabilitate my hip and knees. I started taking tai chi as I thought it would be easier on my body, and I've been wanting to find a good tai chi class anyway.
Anywho, walked back from Peets, changed into my tai chi stuff, then hopped on the bike to class from 8-9. Then back home, change my shirt, a quick yogurt (didn't eat dinner) and off to the gym for kung fu. It was good to be back, as I spent the last two years studying this style. But damned if my knee didn't start hurting after about 10 minutes of forms. The kicks are killing me. So sifu said, "don't do them...just kick low is at all." So everyone watch their ankles.
It was great to spar again. I felt like I had a new perspective on things after just 2 months of tai chi. And it is very different than tai chi...much more aerobic. After class we sat around and shot the sh*t (as we are known to do). Then back home around midnight. But I was starving. And craving something...um...well, let's just say less than healthy. So back on the bike for a late night run to Tommy's. But only chili cheese fries, not burger. After all, I'm all about the health food...
July 04, 2006
does the network change?
All of the talk over the years. One thing setting up the other. When push comes to shove, you have to pull the wires and disconnect the old pathways. But does the network change? Ahh, I hear the sleighbells. Sorry, shuffleplay distraction. Hmm, good song title. Why am I typing this instead of writing that? Good question. The resistance is strong in this one..
The next time the network could shift and make all the difference. But can you take that chance? What's at stake and what price would be paid. Would. Could. Maybe. Maybe not.
I saw the fireworks. I believed I was dreaming. The neighbors came out screaming. Am I a third world man?
You can be called low maintenance, when in reality you spend untold amounts of energy keeping the balls in the air, and the plates spinning on those damn sticks. Sticks. Not shinai. Sticks. Damn, I hate that. Of course I've accused myself of far worse. And I'm a tough judge...no bail for this one. ROR? You must be kidding.
My friend made the flight and he's on the right path I think. It's always easier to see someone else's trajectory though. But that's all part of the royal scam. To think you know. To think at all. Think about it. Isn't that what got me into this mess in the first place? Why in the world do I want to now "think about it" to cure it?
Going insane. No frozen rain to laugh at though. Only the hot breath of doubt. Like a blast furnace. Cooking and curdling. It stings it's so hot. Sings it's so hot. A black harmony to match the goals you can't find. And a home that is like a bell curve, and the summit has passed a few years back. And the last generation passed on you a year after that. And the next generation will likely pass too. Then you're left with yourself. And whatever you can carve out of this block of heat. Burning your hands. The pain makes you think you are free. But liberty she pirouette. Her gown brushes against me, but it is the last soft touch I'll feel.
Maybe the next time will be different. But we've run the numbers. Thought about it. It's what's for dinner. I thought the Omegaman was long since put to bed. But I'm coming to learn that some may doze, but they never really leave. Instead they patiently wait their turn. Look for an opening. A crack in the facade. A gap in the grout. Or up through the drain.
Open doors will soon be shut. God opens a window. That's a small ledge though. And I'm afraid of heights.
Time, see what's become of me. I remember the 00-21. I remember playing America, and visiting the fair. But it's moving into fall. I feel the summer. I dress the summer. But the reflection doesn't lie. There's a patch of snow on the ground. It's a hint. Pssst! Look kid, you're no kid.
I wish my friends lived out here, but they wouldn't dig this town. It's a good story at least. Pretend it's not that way. My idea of faith?
And so Alice, what say you? You timing is impecable. I'm not fooling you. I don't know what to do. But try not to think about it anymore Alice. It's getting late where you are.
I've shed a few. And rode a few fences. It's all so beautiful. Even though I'm seeing double. I remember the years. Well, some of them. Stabs of memory. Jabs of pain. Tabs of smiles. There must be some kind of way outta here. Nowhere but through. Out of the corner of my eye the party exited stage right. Yes officer, we'll stop now. Then the phone rang, but I knew the deal before she spoke. I don't want to drive that grade. I don't want to see that twisted metal. I don't want to talk that talk. I don't want to walk that walk. OK, I'll play my guitar. But you can't make me feel it. You can't make me understand it. The wildcats can growl. The riders can aproach. But I don't have to watch.
you talkin' to us?
Happy 4th
July 03, 2006
hot enough for you?
If you're wearing full gear, it was plenty hot today. Still in search of the "perfect" hot weather motorcycle jacket. The budget is shrinking (man, rough couple of months), so I may just have to sweat and be miserable, or settle for something inexpensive. I worry about mesh jackets though...dress for the crash, not the ride.
July 02, 2006
sunset on sunset
Finally a second to stop and smell the salt air...sunset on sunset
July 01, 2006
bar brat q
After dropping S off at LAX (off to various bits of Europe), the boy and I continued on south to a farewell bbq for a Pelican. The sad story is that Shawn and his family moved out here from Indiana as his company was setting up a new operation in Irvine. After being here two week, the company said, "just kidding", and told him they were moving everything (including million $ lathes) back to Indiana. Nice. So a group of up gathered at Ralph's house in Ranch Santa Margarita (hey, there's a lake there) to eat brats and toast the family. Welcome to California, now go home!