where do i plug this in?
I expend a lot of psychological/psychic energy, especially these days. Untold mindons (kinda like a photon, only neural energy...no really...trust me, I'm a scientist) spent trying to "figure things out", or as Watts tells me, "think about it." But the challenge is that this isn't thinking as I know it...not a problem to be logically solved. A different kind of "thinking." And it is hard. And it makes everything else in my life hard. Mundane tasks sometimes require herculean effort due to the power drain. But hey, I'm used to slogging through. Just not with this level of frustration.
In the past when things got to hard, I just walked away and did something different. Not this time though...I can't do that. But I keep tripping up, and slipping...the walking is difficult when you don't have a path to follow. But that's how you make the path, and faltering is to be expected. And that's ok too. One foot in front of the other, and see where it leads...