why i do it
Over the years there have been few constants in my life. As I used to say in grad school, "people come, people go." I've tried to alter that outlook a bit over the past year(s), to some sucess. But still, sometimes people do come and go for whatever reasons. And sometimes they go for good. But I digress a bit, as my point was that music has been the one constant in my life. While there have been plenty of ups and down, and periods of fierce creativity and activity followed by languid times where sometimes I'd go a week or so without picking up an instrument.
Last night I had what I though would be another typical gig with KT2 (Kaz Takeda Trio...sans drummer) at 4 on 6. Two 50 minute sets, then dinner. But when I showed up and was setting up Yoko told me that Kaz's best friend in Japan died on Saturday. He was the same age as Kaz, and Kaz would be flying out on Monday for the funeral. Wow. So there you have it...life interrupting life. As I continued to plug in my wires and tune my bass, I just kinda let my mind drift, not wanting to really focus on anything.
We started the first set, and usually we do an uptempo blues. We did the usual, but at about half the normal speed...kind of a medium slow blues. Swinging and sad. Followed it up with "Misty" at another slow tempo (it is a ballad, but we usually play it medium tempo, and occasionally up tempo). We picked up the pace at some point, but I don't really remember the details. Kaz alternated between being a bit distracted, and absolutely blazing on his guitar. I knew where he was, and knew why he was. And the set went on, and I was a part of the vibe, caught up in the vortex that is music played from the heart and not the head. My solos were more inspired than ever, and instead of thinking about the notes, I was just trying to feel it.
After a break we came back for the second set, and it was more of the same. The usual tunes, but a different feel and flow. We ended up playing a longer than normal first set (sometimes you need more time), and suddenly we were about 15mintues over and the place was empty except for the staff. We finished the night with "Amazing Grace", and I sang backing vocals...no mic necessary for my booming bass voice on that tune.
If I ever had a doubt, I was reminded again why I do it, why I have to do it, and why I'll always do it until I die. Here's to Kaz and all those who've lost someone dear. And here's to one more tune, one more chorus, one more note to close the night...before we get up and do it again.
Comments
There is something that we do, that we must do (or perhaps embrace within ourselves) or quite possibly we might die. You are truly lucky to actually know (and have known for a while) what that is for you. Many of us wade around in the pain of unreleased anguish or unexpressed creativity for a very long time. For me, I must build things with my hands--take something in one form and make it into something else. It might be beautiful only to me, sometimes that is enough because maybe I am the only one who understands what it is, what its purpose is, what it represents. But like your music, when it's from the heart, it is pure, raw, amazing and totally soulful.
Posted by: RESF | April 3, 2006 05:07 PM