The neck is tight, I feel kinda sick to my stomach, and I didn't sleep well. Schnarch talks about wanting two choices and not denying your partner their choice. He also talks about being willing to endure discomfort for personal growth. Hmm, I've got the discomfort thing down...now to make sure it is leading to growth instead of just general misery. More will be revealed, and it'll be ok. Maybe not nice and happy, but ok. And shining a light on it is the only thing to do. Sorry for the delay.
