Gain and loss. Yin and Yang. But the 2nd law intimates that in fact you will lose more than you gain. House rules. Entropy wins. Indicative that we should get used to losing, and in fact, should not fear it or run from it, but rather expect it and maybe try and find the lesson. As the Dalai Lama says, "when you lose, don't lose the lesson."
Of course that is a nice platitude (aren't they all), but how to actualize it. Or as I often ask the good doctor, "sure, I can think about it, but what are the logistics?" Maybe that is the logical or pragmatic side of me, but at some point the rubber hits the road. While one can "live in the moment," and "feel your way through it," very real actions must be put into play. By not choosing you are making a choice (apologies to Geddy Lee...well, maybe not as I never really was a big Rush fan).
What is interesting is to see others flourishing and moving on, while others struggle, despite the best intentions. I don't know that there is a rhyme or reason, but there perhaps are patterns. We all have patterns. They are ingrained from a young age. And some of us spend an incredible amount of time and energy and money to try and disassemble them. Because at some point the patterns become an obstruction rather than a facilitator. Kinda like drug or alchohol use...not that I'd know anything about that.
I suppose that I should break out some free verse right now, but I don't have it in me. It's been a tiring day (lots of thinking, the usual stuff along with a large dollop of work), and I just don't feel it. Then again, I'm writing this so I suppose that my work ethic for writing is ok on some level. Better to write something than nothing...even if it isn't particularly moving. Sometimes showing up is all you can do.
I did manage to get some pics from the day though (previous post). Again, nothing earthshattering and I never did quite capture the feathering that I saw on the waves. Time was tight this am between the boy and the work, and something had to give (in this case the art). But tomorrow is another day and the trades are blowing hard right now. If there still is some swell left tomorrow hopefully I can walk around the point and get the shots I saw in my eye, my mind's eye, and in my gut.
My gut. Lots of focus on that recently. Luckily not due to food poisoning like some I know (at least from reading about...part of the driver of this I think), but rather in the "let's see what happens when we follow it" vein of things. Terrifying stuff. Combinatorial effects of a) not knowing, b) using different part of the body to "think," and c) setting off into a void with no clear rules or parameters. Well hell, I guess just keep walking. Great. Walking.
And why is it that one looks if one doesn't really want to know? Or is it that one really does want to know? Or that one wants someone else to make the decisions? Or that one wants the magic data point that will make everything coalesce into coherence? I dunno. All of the above. None of the above. Maybe it's just a desire for the familiarity of the torture one is used to. When working all of these new angles and walking through this totally unfamiliar territory, maybe a bit of masochism is needed for a modicum of comfort. Hmm, that doesn't sound healthy. Guess I'll have to think about it...
