I've done some hard things in my life. Very hard. And too many of them. The whole "forged by fire" has been a bit overdone in my life, but likely due to my inherent denseness. Now I'm in the fight of my life again, and this one is far harder than any that have come before. Patterns set up early and reinforced by decades. And no anesthesia to help now. Not much of anything to help now. Just dig in for the long haul.
Long is relative though. An hour can seem like a day. And sometimes days don't seem to move at all. But then you turn around and a month has passed. And you don't seem any further along than you were before. Wondering what has passed. What you missed. What you left on the table. What you can live with. And what you can't live without.
Long time. Long distance. Long feelings. And you wonder. Or try not to. But that is hard too. Spending long nights thinking about it. And now trying not to think. Trying is a curious word.
When the flood calls
You have no home, you have no walls
In the thunder crash
You're a thousand minds, within a flash
Don't be afraid to cry at what you see
The actors gone, there's only you and me
And if we break before the dawn, they'll
use up what we used to be.
