nostatic at all...

For some reason I decided to check and see if the new verion of movabletype was release. And it was. Supposed to have some cool new features. And newer is always better, right? So I backed up my database (like a good boy) and followed the upgrade instructions. Then went to log on and finish the process. Except the system had other ideas. "user or password" unknown. Uh oh...more later...

Well, maybe for Halliburton, but it appears as though my blog database is corrupt. I'm trying to resurrect it, but at the moment I'm locked out of my blogs. Luckily the pages are all there so you can look, but I can't add anything, and worst case scenario is that my last three years will be "frozen" in time unless I want to manually recreate the posts. *sigh*

Well, trying to salvage things, but it isn't looking good. Had Westhost first roll back the database to a previous backup and that didn't fix it. Meanwhile, webforming back and forth with movabletype support, but they basically said, "well, you're hosed." The had Westhost roll the entire site back but still no love. Then I tried playing some games with uninstalling and reinstalling the db, adding certain tables, etc. Came so close, but alas, couldn't pull it off. Have to sleep on it, but I'm not happy.

and not in black...

Well, Monday comes and waking was tough. But the week beckons, and it'll be a busy one. Hosting a bunch of DHS folk tomorrow, then flying to Monterrey on Wednesday, then back just in time to see Steely Dan at Irvine, then try to sort bike issues on Thursday. I'm already tired. At least the new blog install seems to be behaving, and I'll be sorting the rest of the fallout as the week progresses, and figuring out what I'm going to do about the broader site. Plus I lost my nice automated photo gallery generation which is a bummer, but such is life...

Probably everyone has dealt with a "captcha". These are the squiggly numbers/letters that you sometimes have to type in on certain websites to prove that you're a human and not some computer bot. Well, someone has mashed that concept up with "ruhotornot":

hotcaptcha

This time on a turboprop to Monterrey for meetings at the Naval Postgraduate School. To talk about what? Don't ask...I'd tell you but...well, you know the rest.

Note to self: try really hard to get an exit row on a small turboprop plane...they are *not* designed for people over 5'9". And United sucks...

Into everyone's life a little scream must fall. Steely Dan at Verizon Amphitheater in Irvine. Having seen the lads in '93, '94, '00, and '03 (every year they toured excpet for '96 when I must have been asleep or something), it was a moral imperative that I attend. Harry actually pinged me about getting tickets a few days before they went onsale. I was busy with work when they went onsale, but logged on a few hours afterwards and got decent seats.

Changes on the work front. Although not major...just a shift in percentages and a change in the home office. Looks like the permanent digs are on the 6th floor overlooking the marina. Sure, I lost the fireplace in the office, but this should work...

Well, not sure about official, but today was spent at the lovely Hacienda Hotel in El Segundo at the Porsche Owner's Club driving instructors class. I've been instructing for about a year now, but this is a more "proper" class where we all try to get on the same page. POC is an all-volunteer organization, and instructing is a major way to give back to the club. And of course because I open my big fat mouth I'm now helping to create a skidpad pedagogy/checklist for the students, and will be taking over much of the web duties, as well as likely helping to sort out a redesign and automated system for tracking points. That's ok...I don't really have enough to do at work anyway...

Hey, is that raw sewage backing up into the tub and shower? Why yes it is. Well, isn't that special. Called the management company, but likely won't see a plumber until Monday. So not only is it hot and humid, but I don't have a functional shower (and the toilet ain't really working either). Isn't that special.

Perhaps this is a metaphor for something...

The neck is tight, I feel kinda sick to my stomach, and I didn't sleep well. Schnarch talks about wanting two choices and not denying your partner their choice. He also talks about being willing to endure discomfort for personal growth. Hmm, I've got the discomfort thing down...now to make sure it is leading to growth instead of just general misery. More will be revealed, and it'll be ok. Maybe not nice and happy, but ok. And shining a light on it is the only thing to do. Sorry for the delay.

According to her, the soldiers in Iraq are dying for her freedom to be fat and scream nonstop during a concert in Irvine. I shall alert the media...

I'm just so fucking sad right now it isn't even funny. But as the beautiful and wondrous S always says, "no feeling is final." Thanks Sharon. I needed that. I needed everything. And got so much more than I gave. The walk continues but perhaps with a different beat...

you enter with nothing
you leave with nothing
all you have is the journey
and the love you find along the way

Thanks S. For all of it.

Only love
Can make it rain
The way the beach
Is kissed by the sea
Only love
Can make it rain
Like the sweat of lovers
Layin' in the fields

No, there were no adverts. No smoke signals. Unless you knew somebody, you didn't know. But 2/3 of THC reunited last night. Todd, Harry and Masa took the stage at Michaels for a blast from the far past. The young drunk guys though it was good, so who am I to argue...

Sometimes, you know. Other times, you guess. Much of the time you grasp. But if you're lucky, in a rare moment, it all gets turned upside-outside-down. And you find that what you know isn't. And what you guess might wasn't. And your grasp...is hapless.

Hope, Grace, Love. Pick any three. I just did. Now what? We shall see...

OK, so the trick is to be ok with not knowing. But that's just crazy talk, at least from my upbringing and training. So I suppose it's time to un-train. De-train. Dis-train? I need coffee...

How do you know when you have something profound? When it goes away. Or I should say *think* it goes away. Because the truly profound things were always there, and always will be there. It just takes someone to walk with you to help find them. What is shocking is the depth and breadth of it all. You think you know...but you don't. No idea. Well, until now. Until you walk. Until you share. Until you love. Then what do you do? Keep walking...to honor yourself and honor her. Thanks again S. It is all stunning...

I did the loop tonight in my 911. There are a couple of variations, but basically it is out the 10 west until it turns into Pacific Coast Highway. Then north to Sunset. At that point it is either east on Sunset (west would put you into the ocean) or double back on PCH. There was a time when I did the loop almost every night. Back for about a year or so before I moved out, sometime between about 11pm and midnight the loop would call.

Well, as of tomorrow I am 100% at CCT. I am finally off the ACC books. I'll remain as a "local" fellow, but it is the end of a run that started in September of '00, when Elizabeth snatched me away from ISD to be the managing director. That actually is the longest I've ever held a position. And so a new chapter begins. But why is it that the other book has a new chapter beginning too? And I should be working on a third. This is all so complicated. And new. And frustrating. But the only way is through. Wo ai ni.