That was the title of the thread. It wasn't expected really, and it hit home. That sinking feeling. The backstory is that about 2 weeks ago a member of one of my online communities posted that his wife had gone in for a colonoscopy and they perforated the colon. That is not a good thing, as the bacteria gets into places it shouldn't usually causing sepsis. In her case she got very ill and was hospitalized with sepsis and respiratory failure.
Bob posted this because we are his "extended family". Funny how digital communities work, but that can be the case. We'd seen it before when a member died and everyone chipped in money, time and effort to finish restoring his car for his widow and family. And many other times. Depsite the arguments over politics and occasional name calling, we are one big dysfunctional family.
At any rate, there was an immediate outpouring of good wishes and prayers. I pm'd Bob with my cell phone number, telling him to call if he needed anything or just to talk. I've never met him, but I "know" him from his posts. A few days later he did call, and we chatted for about half an hour. He told me about his wife, the whole ordeal, and we talked about other random bits of life. By then she had stabilized some, but was sedated and intubated...still very sick.
So every day bob would post an update on her condition. He is not an MD, but there are docs on the board so he would sometimes post her various test results and people would chime in with explanation and encouragement. All this time he was also getting pms from other people, and prayers around the clock. He joked that because Pelican is a worldwide community, the sun never set on prayers being said for his wife, Kathyrn.
The past few days were looking up, as they were going to remove the tube and do a tracheostomy, making it a lot more comfortable for her. Other signs were encouraging, and the daily updates were a bit more upbeat, but still everyone chiming in with best wishes and prayers.
So today, there was the thread that no one really expected, and certainly didn't want to see: "kathyrn passed away." During the night she had taken a sudden turn for the worst, and very quickly, she was gone. His wife of 19 years went to the other side. His daughter and son in law were there, and he had some friends from the neighborhood who sat with him. But he also posted to let us know, as we'd all been following her fight and his journey. As soon as I saw it I called him. We talked briefly, he sounded good but numb (I know that from dealing with my dad). He was thankful for the call though, and was off to have lunch with his kids. He said he'd likely call me back in a few days and I said no problem.
Not much else to say. I feel good in that I was there for a friend, or at least tried to be. I'm sad for his loss, and for all the loss out there. Tonglen, right? Godspeed dear Kathyrn.
