nostatic at all...

Well, I was going to go test drive a VW this afternoon. Sharon advised against it, and I listened. After dinner we stopped by briefly so I could actually see one in person and sit in it (but not drive yet). I discovered an interesting thing...getting into the passenger side of a car is delicate but doesn't hurt much. Getting into the driver's side is delicate and *does* hurt. I didn't think it would. Sharon did. Sharon was/is right. A lot. Interesting. I'll have to think about that...

Goodbye futon. Hello Serta. Delicate Jasmine Plush model. With Sunday delivery. My back thanks me.

I could be in a body cast. Yup, that would be worse. I suppose its easy to get caught up in moping. Probably didn't help going to the kung fu picture/promotion ceremony today and having to recount the story for the umpteenth time. And everybody sweaty and healthy while I balanced on crutches. But, it could be worse...

twist and strech
and try to pull
yourself out of the car
or out of the bed
or out of a rut
same old patterns
but a different time
and place and space
can't go on the side
or bend to flex
holding fluid
won't go down
you hold it up
and tuck your arm
and hope your weight
doesn't pull her down
or pull you down
but you'll fall down
because what goes up
must come down
and sometimes further
down than you think
you can't feel or see
so you didn't
but now you do
because you can
doesn't make it easy
doesn't make it right
does make me tired
of it all

My original plan was to head back into the office this week. Well, after Monday which after all is Labor day. Hmm, end of summer. The boy is back to school on Tuesday. In a "normal" year we'd be at the beach tomorrow. And today. And yesterday. But this year is far from normal. At least the past 2 weeks. But I digress.

Watched the last half of "Big Wednesday" last night. Good timing. Today is the end of summer (although we'll get our usual Santa Ana heat in September and probably in October too), and school starts tomorrow. Back to the early morning routine on Wednesday and Friday, although I have it tomorrow to. Sadly, because of the knee I can't do any of the traditional activities that we usually engage in to bid farewell to another summer, my 44th on this planet (all in California, 43 of them in SoCal). No surf for me. That's OK. Things are different this Labor Day, for a variety of reasons. I'm still trying to figure all of those reasons out, but that gives me something to do while rehabilitating on the couch. And for now, Don Henley's take on things will have to suffice...

So the bike makes a reappearance, but it overheats on idle. And I can't figure out which garage it belongs in. And I don't remember the combination. So the take-home lesson is that the mania isn't avoiding thinking about where I belong, but one step removed from that...not even wanting to ponder that I don't know where home is. *sigh*

You gotta love 3:33am. No, really. You have to. No other choice really.

A trip to the plastic surgeon again today to check on the wound healing. Evidently it is looking pretty good, with a lot of granulation tissue. In fact, a bit too much, as evidently that is how the body fills big wounds, but it can slow the ability of the skin to close over properly. So he wanted to kill off some of it...with silver nitrate. Yes, the same stuff that turned your skin permanently black in chem lab. Stings when it gets on skin that has nerves, but the granulation tissue doesn't.

So the upside it that things are moving forward, wound is closing, and it looks like I don't have any infection. Downside is that he poked and proded quite a bit, and its hurting...both knee and foot. Upside is that the foot is hurting, meaning I still have some functional nerves down there. Hey, you take the good with the bad...

And all those years I thought Jacqueline was crazy. Turns out she might have been right. Funny thing what a lifetime of guilt and anger will do to you. In the latest thrilling episode, my armed attempt to get the bad guy didn't pan out, so it was face first into the bonfire for me. Sweet. Can't wait for the next episode...

Finally got to the car dealership and healthy enough for a test drive. The unfortunate reality is that you really can't live in LA without transportation. And my rehab is moving slowly, so I'm not going to be able to drive a stick any time soon. My options are to buy a cheap beater car with a slushbox, or find a new car with an auto the is entertaining enough to serve as a daily driver even after I rehab.

And so the (not) fun begins. Trying to buy a car. But I'm not going to pay a ton of money...these are not rare cars. Seems the dealership and I are $1200 apart. Oh well, we'll see if somebody else wants my money...

Counterpoint

Well, today I bit the bullet and bought a new car. I will be unable to drive a manual transmission for who knows how long, and I can't keep imposing on Sharon and cabs indefinitely. So after some email and phone negotiation, today I picked up my 2007 VW GTi with DSG transmission. The paddle shifters are pretty cool, and it actually is a manual transmission with two computer controlled clutches. Bottom line is it is fairly entertaining to drive, has leather and a sunroof, and no clutch to operate. So now I can get to meetings without ruining S's schedule or paying Yellow Cab. Soon the Subie will be off to Carmax. That'll be an entry for another day...

Drop the boy off at school in the AM. About 4 blocks each way from where I parked to his lineup. Then to work for a couple of meetings. Then a ticket from the USC ticket nazis (I lost my permit a long time ago and never got a new one because I'm almost never on campus and this is a controlled access lot). $50. Then to the credit union to finish off financing on the car. Of course each close metered spot gets taken. I end up about 4 blocks away. Luckily paperwork was painless. Then back home with a stop at Peets. Carrying coffee on crutches is a challenge. Then some work on the couch. Then vacuuming because the apartment is filty. Vacuuming on crutches is a challenge. Now cooking some dinner. Don't really even want to but if I don't eat I won't be in good shape.

Tomorrow is doc appt to get a prognosis (especially on the foot), and find out if/when I can travel (fly), then meetings, then trying to sell my Subie. Then get up early and get the boy to school and more crutching. OK, I get the point, can we move on?

Honda Chorus

I vote yes.

Today I walked from the couch to the kitchen. Without crutches. Well, I'm not sure I would call it "walking", although it might make it into the Ministry of Silly Walks. Baby steps as they say. I cancelled two weeks of travel, things that I really wanted to do, but it is just too much of a stretch (literally) to fit into an airline seat. At least I'm getting good at climbing in and out of the new car.

Well, it's been 4 weeks, and things appear to be looking up. I owe a lot of it to Sharon for taking care of me. Also plenty of help along the way from friends and family. I lost track of the offers of help. Thanks to everyone, and hopefully I can pay it back or forward or both. Today was boring stuff: drive to the drug store to get some more bandages and a cane, then to Peets for a mocha and quick read of the paper, then to the mall to get new sunglasses to replace my Ray Bans that burned to a crisp (they were in the top case on the Duc). That combined with some laps around the apartment sans crutches was about enough, so it was back to the couch. Tomorrow is another day...

Man, nasty little night. About every couple hours my knee decided to let me know about it's displeasure with the current state of the ME. Or something. The only redeeming thing was that the pain would eventually subside and I could get back to sleep. The wound looks fine post-shower this am, so I think it is just part of the whole healing thang. One day at a time. If anything it reinforces my decision not to try and travel next week or the week after.

On the positive side of things, the GTI rocks. Great practical car that is fun...and I can actually drive right now. Transportation is kinda important in this town...

The beginning of the first full week back to work. Still not at 100%, and can't really hack 8 hours at my desk, but since I'm getting away from crutches and am upright more and more, time for the face time. On the plus side I actually have biz cards and a name plate outside my office. Now I just have a bunch of proposals to write...

No, not a Ben & Jerry's flavor, although that is food for thought. No, instead that would be me after a month on vicodin. I didn't take a ton of it, but a couple every day, usually at bed time and some times in the middle of the night if the knee was driving me nuts. I've been going without crutches more and more and although the knees is painful from time to time, I think it is time to gut it out. Of course my body doesn't really like that very much...it would like some more vicodin, thank you very much.

And with the stroke of a pen, another era comes to a close. Perhaps the most "interesting" 1.5 years in the 44+ on this earth, but today the Subie went to Carmax, and did not return home. Back in March of '05 I bought her brand new from Thousand Oaks Subaru. I had been out of the house for a number of months, and had gotten to the point where I really needed something with a back seat (and some more storage space) to haul the boy and whomever/whatever else around.

xmas eve '05, me and the boy in the Subie on PCH

So a dinner meeting with the singer/songwriter I'll hopefully be working with, and the rest of the band he's putting together (drums and guitar). I get there, then the drummer shows up. Great guy, and we're just waiting for the guitarist (who is a woman). The drummer asks her name, gives a funny look, then we look up her myspace page. To make a long story short, turns out the drummer and the guitarist have a history. Back in New York. What are the odds they'd end up in the same nascent band 3K miles away? Evidently pretty high...

I don't want to go back on meds...

Shouldn't the Psychic Friends be the ones to call you?

You have someone who rarely smiles, let alone laughs. Then you say something that makes them laugh. Then when you try to recount the story to someone else, you can't for the life of you remember what it was you said that made them laugh.

I hate it when that happens...

Well, it's original (I think...)

Treadmill Dance

Cool

Sharon writes:

Enough already with that same ol' tune
As i've said countless times before
Everyone knew but you

Which sounds like the makings of a great song. My reply:

Every song has already been written
We're just remixing history

That's deep...both of them...

Perilous Relish is a madman. All the creative/brilliant ones are on some level. The trick is harnessing it instead of having it tear you apart. Unfortunately that line is tough to see, often obscured by clouds (bonus points for that reference).

I can see very well
There's a boat on the reef with a broken back
And I can see it very well
There's a joke and I know it very well
It's one of those that I told you long ago
Take my word I'm a madman don't you know

The years aren't quite right...the 60's actually were from 1964 (the Beatles) to about 1974 (give or take a year). Probably the best decade of music ever, especially if you include a little slop later into the 70's. Lately I've rediscovered Elton John. Wow. 1969 was a tough year (the highs of Woodstock, the lows of Altamont) and for me both my dog and piano teacher died. But out of sorrow and chaos, the Phoenix rises...

Why's it never light on my lawn
Why does it rain and never say good-day to the new-born
On the big screen they showed us a sun
But not as bright in life as the real one
It's never quite the same as the real one